Grounded, is what I am. Shackled, hobbled, paused, clamped. I have been hijacked by my own body; my will power, my freedom of movement have been subdued by a stronger force.
Something is growing inside me, an alien thing, the unwelcome expansion of a small organ. My body will kill me if this is allowed to continue.
I must go to the hospital, be cut open, have things removed. Then see the nature of the beast within.
I have the attention span of a bee.
I ache.
My brain cannot read text without stopping mid-stream. I cannot read, I cannot write. I can merely exist, see people and receive love and care. The only thing I have to give is my need. My awareness has shrunk to the size of my stomach.
But I will note this in the timeline of my life. Here it is; my hiatus. And hopefully, in a few months, I will continue, not unchanged, but as planned.
3 comments:
Oh! Well I will be thinking of you then. Fingers and eyes crossed and all that. !!!!!!! You do describe a horrid situation beautifully.
Hell's bells. Just read this. Hope everything goes OK.
thank you both. All good wishes are gratefully accepted.
It's not as bad as it seems. It's a disposable organ and is probably not cancer...or at least only might be cancer. I'll try a more informative post later in the week....this blog is usually pretty vague on details.
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